Moments

Sometimes life is harder than you expect.
We don't learn how to deal with difficult moments at school. The hardest things in your life will teach you. You only learn how to live by living. Every time you think that you will not survive, every time that you think you will not be happy again, those are just moments. At these moments you are growing.
The anxiety, the fear, the sadness, the emptiness. They will pass. There will be a day when you will be sitting at your dinning table, after taking your kids to school and you will think "I made it", "I survived". You will be happy again, you will be courageous, you will find your peace and what completes you. You will still have bad moments, hard moments, when you will think you will die, but until you actually die, you will be learning and growing.
Be there, for your family, for your friends, don't let the pride speak louder. Love, care, show that the people you love are important.
We only have one life, be the best you can without forgetting that you are human, you are not perfect, but you can be good, loving, caring, patient, grateful, kind. You can forgive. Forgive yourself. Forgive who hurt you. Forgiveness heal.

What should I do?

Did you ever had this feeling that you are too influenced by books or tv/"netflix" shows ?
Well, since High School, mostly, I have this thoughts of "what I should be". When young I wanted to be a veterinarian, and I continued with this dream for a long time, until the second year of my high school. During my second year at HS a lot of things happened, including the death of my mother. I know, it is horrible, I miss her so much, but this is not the main reason of this post, it is a part of it, but not all of it. In short words, she had cancer. Of course it affected me and my family a lot.
Anyway, during my second year and my third and last year in HS (in Brazil, where I live, it is only 3 years of HS) I started rethinking the career I wanted for me. What calls my attention now is that most of my options where inspired by books or tv shows that I liked.
For example, there was a period of time that I wanted to be a fashion designer, mostly because I loved some clothes from Gossip Girl and I had some books of girls that liked these things. I also wanted to be a veterinarian because I always loved animals. I wanted to be a medical doctor because it was something that me and my mom talked about even before she was sick, we loved to watch births and surgeries on YouTube ( maybe it sounds strange for you if you are not into these things, but if you like Greys Anatomy, you probably understand me ). There were times I wanted to be a secretary because I like to write, organize and take notes.
This list goes through many careers. Still I don't know "what I should be". Now I am with this "inspiration" to write a book or something. Why? Because I am watching this Netflix show where the girl is a writer, so it is awakening this creative-writing-side of me.
I learned in my 22 years of life that I can be whatever I want and how many things I want (as long as I have time for my family). I am still wanting to be a medical doctor. When it will happen? I don't really know, so many things has changed since I graduated from HS, and I am sure a lot will change until I am able to realize this dream. But for now I will at least try to write this book (maybe it will not be a book, who knows?), it may not work but if it works, it will make me happy. Also, it will be a good thing for me to write more in English.
If you have ideas for me, if I wrote something wrong, or if you want to help me to write better ( my boyfriend says I don't know how to use commas, I think it works differently in English) just leave a commentary below.
Thank you!

3

"why did I do that? Now he is going to think I am super easy. Or super awkward." Kim thought feeling her face get as red as her shirt. "Hm.. Sorry but I have to run to my next class now. Maybe another time" Dylan said with a half smile. "See you later." He said as he walked past her in a fast pace that evolved to running. "I can't believe I did this. Seriously Kim, what were you thinking?" Kim whispered through her breath as she walked to the campus hub. It was 10:30 am and her next class didn't start until 11am, so she had a few minutes for coffee and catching up on the reading assignment for the next class. As she walked into the hub it was full, but not as full it would be during lunch time. Kim got her coffee she had ordered a couple minutes earlier through her phone and walked to a table near the window where some sunlight would warm her up along with the coffee. Winter was getting closer now. 

2

"What was I thinking? Of course I have no chance with him." Kim thought walking towards the door. She was so upset that didn't noticed that her keys fell from her pocket. She heard someone calling her. well, not actually her but, "Hey, girl with the red shirt". Kim looked around aware that she was the only girl wearing a red shirt nearby. "I can't believe it!" she thought when she saw who was calling her. "Oh, hi", she said smiling. Dylan showed her keys, "you dropped this". Her smile was smaller now, but she said, "Ah, thank you. I didn't noticed." She moved her hand to get the keys, feeling her heartbeat getting faster as she touched his hand. Before she could think, she heard her voice "would you like to have a coffee?".

1

She was reading a novel from her favorite writer before the class starts, but as soon as he entered in the room she couldn't pay attention at the words, she have a crush on Dylan since the first day of the semester, but never had courage to talk with him. But today was the day, last day of class, one week before the vacations really start. She had to talk with him otherwise she might never have the opportunity again. At the end of class, she closed the book with a positive and confident attitude. She was wearing her favorite jeans and shirt from the university, but of course something had to happen or she wouldn't be Kim. When she got close enough , she saw he as talking with a girl instead of his friends, a beautiful girl with dark hair and green eyes, one of those girls who has everything and had her future written since middle school when was elected most beautiful girl of the community and first of the class in high school. "I have no chance "Kim thought as walked to the door.